Sunday, June 19, 2016

The other person is a mirror.

Watch deeply the following video of Thay's Dharma Talk on "The other person is a mirror."
https://www.facebook.com/thichnhathanh/videos/vb.7691064634/10153883939529635/?type=2&theater
My commentaries are followings.

"The other person is a mirror which reflects us right away." is a good expression. Yes, we see ourselves in others. But I sometimes feel that there are also people who do not reflect ourselves as we are. I feel the difference comes from whether that person lives in mindfulness or in forgetfulnessEverything depends on who you are. If you are ego (separate self), you see illusions and can not reflect the others as they are. If you are awareness (non-separate self), you touch the reality as it is and can reflect the others as they areSo, ego (separate self) lives in forgetfulness, and awareness (non-separate self) lives in mindfulness.

The other person can be a mirror only if s/he is mindful as follows: 
mindful person (A) × mindful person (B) = B reflects A's smile.
mindful person (A) × forgetful person (B) = B doesn't reflect A's smile.
forgetful person (A) × mindful person (B) = B reflects A's anger.
forgetful person (A) × forgetful person (B) = B doesn't reflect A's anger.

In other words,
mindful person (A) is comfortable with mindful person (B) because (B) can reflect (A) as (A) is.
mindful person (A) is uncomfortable with forgetful person (B) because (B) can not reflect (A) as (A) is.
forgetful person (A) is uncomfortable with mindful person (B) because (B) can reflect (A) as (A) is.
forgetful person (A) is comfortable with forgetful person (B) because (B) can not reflect (A) as (A) is.

Everything depends on who we are.
Awareness x Awareness ⇒ no stress, no problem
Awareness x Ego ⇒ problem (no stress)
Ego x Awareness ⇒ problem (no stress)
Ego x Egostress + problem

So, you need to know both who you are and who your counterpart is. A sign of ego is no smile and no love. On the other hand, a sign of awareness is genuine smile and love. And when you recognize the true nature of yourself and your counterpart, selective watering (Right Diligence) is vital. So, if you recognize that the true nature of your counterpart is ego, you must keep distance from ego so that your unwholesome seeds of mental formations may not be watered or touched. Keeping distance from ego is selective watering (Right Diligence), not separation or discrimination. It's very important to remember that. And it's good not only for yourself but also for the whole cosmos. Anyway, you need to be peaceful in order to make others peaceful.

(Cf.) http://www.slideshare.net/compassion5151/3-versions-of-oneself