Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Deep Listening = Compassionate Listening

Watch deeply the following Thay's Dharma talk video on deep listening.
The followings are the key phrases from the video.

1. Deep listening is the most important practice, if you want to help.
2. Listen to yourself first.
3. Listening is so healing, so transforming.
4. We allow ourselves to be empty (empty ourselves). 
(not to judge, not to criticize, to give them a chance to express himself or herself without interruption)
5. Avalokitesvara is very good at listening deeply.
6. We are protected by compassion.
7. Communication can be restored by loving speech and deep listening.
8. Quality of listening determines the success.

(My commentary)
I understand that the following steps are essential for deep listening capacity.
Steps to attain deep listening capacity: 
1) self-transformation ① (conscious breathing, walking) + 
2) recognize and embrace own suffering (mindfulness) +
3) look deeply into own suffering (concentration) + 
4) understand the root cause of own suffering (insight) + 
5) self-transformation ② (compassion) +
6) accept yourself unconditionally (unconditional self-love) +
7) recognize the other's suffering (mindfulness) +
8) look deeply into the other's suffering (concentration) + 
9) understand the root cause of the other's suffering (insight) + 
10) generate compassion to others (forgiveness) +
11) restore communication (loving speech & deep listening) +
11') help others transform (unconditional love)

Even if you have deep listening capacity, if your counterpart doesn't open his or her heart and mouthreconciliation is impossible. So, the key is how to help your counterpart open his or her heart and mouth in order to restore communicationOnly solution may be his or her understanding the root cause of suffering through insight. But only true self (non-separate self) can do it. So, his or her self-transformation is essential.

(note) Many psychotherapists burn out because they have not understood the root cause of their own suffering. That's why all psychotherapists need to understand the root cause of their own suffering before offering their psychotherapy to the patients.


Thay's calligraphy